Brian Pierce (captain_slinky) wrote in disneyland,
Brian Pierce

Best Suicide-Themed Ride EVAR!!!

Did you ever notice that The Haunted Mansion is just a great big trip through madness that ends in suicide? Consider this...

At the beginning of the ride the Ghost Host (the narrator) says the only way to escape the mansion is to die, and he shows that he hanged himself, but not before pointing out that "This chamber has no windows and no doors, which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out!"

You venture in to the darkened hallways of the mansion and witness horror after horror. You're unable to change your course and are compelled to continue upwards in to the attic, all the while having ghosts try to frighten you. Eventually you can't take it any more, you need to get outside, get some fresh air to clear your head. You find yourself outside, on the roof of the mansion, looking down on the graveyard that is absolutely SWARMING with ghosts. You can't take it any more.

You turn your back to the graveyard and lean back, allowing yourself to fall from the roof and through the trees to the cold hard ground below. The fall is gentle, almost relaxing, as you let go of all the madness. Your decent slows as you seem to almost float to ground level, right at the entrance to the graveyard - only the kindly old groundskeeper nor his trusty dog seem to notice you.

You step in to the graveyard and still see all the ghosts, only now instead of trying to frighten you, they're WELCOMING YOU with a big party!

Welcome to The Land Of The Dead! You found the one way out - DEATH! You're free to leave, but hurry BAAAAAAA-aaack... and be sure to bring your DEATH Certificate...
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